Well as a last ditch effort I did a total reset of the unit to factory config and installed the new 8/12/14 firmware update (and power-cycled, did a dance, yada yada) and no joy, still 3 mbps on the internal chipset and instantly goes to nearly 40 mbps with an external wifi dongle. Back it goes, damn shame.
BTW for those whom the update worked I'd again suggest making sure that it works on more than just your home router before declaring the problem fixed... because the problem clearly isn'tfixed, given that I am testing on a brand new unit in purely stock configuration (other than the required updates) and it still doesn't function properly.