How to change the theme of Office 2013

It's not just the rigid "we know better than you do what you want" inability to alter anything related to active window borders, fonts or font formatting, not just the no-brainer courtesy that some simple coding could have achieved in retaining the preferences from people's Office 2010 suite, it's that horrid thing on the left-hand side you have to plow through just to get something opened or saved. 

Once upon a time, you could click on File and then on Save As, and up would pop your system's Explorer screen, from which you could pick a destination.  Now it's an exciting vertical bar down the left edge, which opens up an exciting column of fashionable icons with "Computer" and "+Add A Place" and "Browse," which if you manage to jump through everything correctly, will get you to that Holy Grail of Computing, the... Explorer window.

Is this necessary?  I'm thinking it provided a "Team" at Microsoft a whole lot of exciting busywork for a few weeks, but for the rest of us it's ten more needless, mind-numbing navigation steps to do something that used to be simple and intuitive. 

Clicking on that catastrophic "New program updates are available" bait is the single worst decision I've made on this system in a decade.   Can you just admit you screwed up, and give us back our Office 2010?

I' also started off "cheering" for Microsoft, but that was months ago. No more cheering now. The only response from Microsoft is that they are monitoring "pain points"? Seriously? This is how bad it's gotten?

Anyone believe that Bill's return will solve anything with Office 2013? If he reads this forum he'll probably croak before he has a chance to fire the Office 2013 team.

2 updates for Office in the last month. Neither had new themes. I don't get it. Is Microsoft not supplying these much needed color themes just to prove they "own" the software? Just an explanation would be helpful at this point. Its pretty bad when Office 2011 for Mac is easier to live with.... and believe me, its quirky! Come on Microsoft. I'm cheering for you. I bought a Surface Pro. I installed Windows on my MacBook Pro..... now its your turn....

I'd like to add my own request for different Office 2013 themes. I've been a lifelong Office user, and I am really having a hard time seeing my workspace with the three built-in themes. If I can't find any 3rd party solutions to these themes, I'm going to ask Microsoft for a refund on Office 2013 and buy 2010 instead. Just being honest with you. The grayscale themes are really terrible. Yes, I can still use it, but it is NOT a pleasant viewing experience. I liked the themes in Office 2003 the best, and 2010 is still much better than 2013 in this regard.