Hi AlwaysDriving,
If you're not using any devices using Windows 10 or a Windows Phone, you need to make the settings adjustments on the *local account* entries only on account.microsoft.com/family. If you're making settings adjustments to the profile that shows her MSA, those changes will not be applied to your Windows 8.1 devices (even though she may log in using the MSA).
If there's a particular device that's problematic, also make sure that *on that device* your daughter's user account is set as child and make sure to click on the "manage your family safety settings online" button in that UI on that device. The synching relationship might need to be reestablished. If she's not ever getting the message that the account is being monitored when she uses that device, and she seems to have access to more than she should, this should help.
If you're still stuck after that, I will ask a moderator to contact you.