FWIW, I opened up a support ticket with MS and have a "case number", if that means anything. As expected, the first person responded with something like "oh, you're having a problem with receiving windows updates? I'll pass this to a support professional who can help you with that!"... /rolls eyes
The second person I received a response from, however, appears to be a real human & not just a drone looking for keywords. I'm not sure if she can find the right people who can fix it, but it's more help than Mr. Rohit Chettri is capable of...