Welp, scratch out all that below. Issue resurfaced. Haha Surface....... smf.
Credit to guy above for link to drivers. My steps are pretty much the same save for removing more drivers and running into the driver install hanging.
Drivers: https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/download/details.aspx?id=100419
Note waiting a few minutes is a good thing to do, just in case it is still doing something in the background. Windows is notorious for not including an accurate presentation of loading bar percentage.