Excel 2016 (Protected Mode) Crashing When Opening Files From Email

Has anyone else encountered this problem?

• Receive an Excel file in email (both GMail and (desktop) Outlook 2016 (using a live.com account, not a GMail one) have been tested);
• Double click on it to open it. (Excel 2016 is already open);
• The file opens in Excel with that irritating little "Oooooh, very dangerous! Could be scary monsters inside!" message which, I'll admit, is potentially useful for files from outside the organisation which is the only reason that I leave it on. Of course, there's no point if it doesn't actually work.

Then one of two things happens. Either

• You go to click the Enable Editing button and Excel completely hangs on you; or
• You get the "Excel (Protected Mode) {breathless pause...} Has! Stopped! Working! Pretending to check for a solution that has never once been found in my lifetime, please waste your time waiting" dialog.

There is nothing wrong with the file itself. I have tried with two different files, both have a problem. In both cases if instead of opening them from the Email application I save them to a trusted location I can open them without problem. But opening them directly from either browser or Outlook completely crashes Excel 2016 in a way that it didn't with Excel 2010.

Anyone else?

PS: If anyone from Microsoft responds to this post, looking into this specific question, I'll be more than happy to listen. If instead they copy and paste a script about restarting Windows in Safe Mode I may just need to throw a shoe at something.