Using Microsoft Teams on macOS, including installation, features, and compatibility
THIS is what saved me. I tried literally everything else mentioned on this page to no avail; I kept getting an error message and couldn't even get to a login screen. René mentioned Rosetta and I found this:
https://discussions.apple.com/thread/252089840
At first it wasn't working after a fresh install, but a quick restart solved the problem! I didn't know about what Rosetta does, but it makes sense now (this link helps); it's essentially a bridge for developers still using Intel?
https://apple.stackexchange.com/questions/407640/rosetta-2-installation-on-m1-mbp-fails
Anyways... hope this helps someone :)