What do I have to do to speak to an actual human?

* * Mod note on March 13, 2025.

Brought here by a search? Two posts in this thread, both on page 5 may be helpful. The post by neilpzz and the post by criggs. The thread is locked because it's not at all likely that another helpful post will appear.

In an attempt to remain cordial. Could someone please point me in the direction of an actual working support number, that will have an actual human on the other end. I need to be able to speak to someone for the help I need because it’s a complicated issue I don’t exactly know how to explain, and poorly constructed drop down windows unfortunately have not helped aid in my quest for a solution in any way, shape, or form, for the past two hours…. And that’s just the time I’ve spent trying to find out how to actually speak to someone for help…. So can I please get some assistance in this department so I can fix this computer, and continue my work.