At first I thought you were a Microsoft employee, but when I noticed that you actually typed out a thoughtful and meaningful response with pertinent information that doesn't default to "RUN THE TROUBLESHOOTER AND IF THAT FAILS, LOL REINSTALL WINDOWS BRO", I was like, there's no way, you're way too reasonable and logical to work for Microsoft. That would simply be too good to be true. And turns out I was right! Reasonable and intelligent people simply do not work for Microsoft in their support forums.
Thank you so much for providing the direct link to the KB update file! If Microsoft actually provided those on a regular basis, Windows 10 would be way less of an awful place to exist in. And trying to install failed updates would not be such a shitshow of 10 million hardware variables on an operating system which thinks that having ~330 processes/base services to just to sit there doing nothing is reasonable.