Windows 10 Feature Update 2004 taking too long to install

Hey now, I still have you beat. I got home last Friday night (Eastern Standard Time) and kicked off the "update" on my laptop and proceeded to make dinner. Before I could blink, it was Monday AM and I was heading back to work...checked the status and found the update to be chillin' at 84%. At this rate, I'll get it updated by the time Windows 13 comes out.  

How long did it take to complete?

I was finally "gifted" the update several days ago but, after it sat at 84% (having decreased from 86%) for several hours, I aborted the process. I tried again yesterday and gave up again.

I'm going to try the steps (below) listed on the first page by RogerOriginals, although I don't know how to do all of them, so it may be a challenge, tonight and see if they help. Last night, I used CCleaner to free up several GB of HDD space as well as moving some stuff to my storage HDD, so I have almost certainly eliminated any possibility of not enough space with 80+GB free. I may not do the registry clean-up, though, since most reg cleaners are iffy at best.

• Stopped the services 'wuauserv' and 'bits' from cmd in administrator mode
• Deleted whatever files were in C:/Windows/SoftwareDistribution folder (This removed past Windows Update records but did not remove any already-installed updates, so it was fine)
• Started the services 'wuauserv' and 'bits' from cmd in administrator mode
• Cleaned up my registry using Auslogics Registry Cleaner software
• Deleted all data from the temp folder (%temp%)
• Performed a 'sfc /scannow' check in cmd in administrator mode, which automatically repaired a few corrupted system files that it detected
• Went back to 'Windows Update & Security' settings, rechecked for Windows Updates, at which point it showed me that 2004 feature update is ready to be downloaded and installed, and I obliged.

What vexes me is that the update doesn't warn you how much space you should have, or any other things you should do, and MS hasn't even assigned an MVP to help us benighted users.

• or something very nefarious is going on here.  What did they put into all my machines in the guise of "an update?"

Well maybe this update is the Russians setting up their interference in our election!

My update has been at 84% for over an hour. The update has been going since 4 pm, almost 4 hours ago. I actually scheduled it for that time thinking it would take an hour or so....

Not to pick fun at you (quite the opposite), something tells me you've never supported a Windows Server 2016 platform...single or multiple. You wanna talk about pulling your hair out. Yeah, Microsoft's best kept secret has found it's way to the workstation...good ole Windows 10. At least on the server side, their recommendation is, and I quote, "Upgrade to Server 2019" (yeah, my response to that was Rated R), but we're left with no options on the workstation (at this point). Good work, Microsoft - keep them updates coming!

Hey now, I still have you beat. I got home last Friday night (Eastern Standard Time) and kicked off the "update" on my laptop and proceeded to make dinner. Before I could blink, it was Monday AM and I was heading back to work...checked the status and found the update to be chillin' at 84%. At this rate, I'll get it updated by the time Windows 13 comes out.

The 2004 update is an incompetent, ridiculous (and suspicious) mess.  **** is MS doing with this update?  It takes longer to install this update than it did to install 10 in the first place.  I was ultimately successful installing the "update" on 8 machines after accessing the "Windows 10 Update Assistant," but it still took TWELVE HOURS EACH, with many disturbing stalls and pauses.  Either high-school kids are writing code for Microsoft, or something very nefarious is going on here.  What did they put into all my machines in the guise of "an update?"