Came here with the same problem on 19042.928.
Most of the other suggestions are destructive or will leave you dangerously undefended.
I set for better performance and the eject button works fine.
Flushing only took a few seconds and I had just overwritten ~20G.
The EJECTING_GET_OFF_THIS_DRIVE message is not getting to Defender if the drive is set to quick eject.
Maybe Defender is not listening in that case, which would seem reasonable - it's a readonly process.
If the drive is on laptop power, the performance setting is safe if you use eject.
BTW, in 19042.928, there is no safe to remove dialog. The drive symbol just disappears from the tray.