well, it will re-pair if i disable and re-enable bluetooth in settings>devices while its trying to connect as well.
i thought that might point to drivers, so rolled back a few versions when i knew at least THAT was working (the usb to bt never worked without repair) and it still didnt work.
SO i can only assume microsofts most recent firmware update to the controller blew it up.
As far as the USB to BT forget/re-pair issue. Ive resorted to charging on a different PC to avoid the annoyance in the past. (though now having to toggle BT on and off to even get it to re-connect to BT without usb intervention is just as bad.
Seems the only workaround at current (which a prior poster alluded to) is disabling Xbox One Controller in device manager under Xbox Peripherals.
This will allow a re connect without a forget/re-pair situation. Of course with the tradeoff you cant use your controller wired anymore should your battery go dead while gaming.
You'd have to re-enable, then be forced with a re-pair again for bt. Or worse, you forget you disabled it and bang your face on your keyboard for hours trying to figure out why your controller isnt working down the road.
Not to mention if it has any ramifications for identification via the xbox streaming app or anything when being used ala BT. who knows, not gonna test atm.
all this could be circumvented if MS would add the basic functionality. Windows PC + xbox controller is about as common a config as it gets gamepad wise. Apparently they think these guys dont need to be charged or expect you to charge elsewhere.
As for my specific (not reconnecting after disconnecting issue) I think it boils down to BT power management settings which seemed to have gone missing on my pc so im gonna go work that angle.