I have never experienced a problem with Windows Update so my experience troubleshooting WU is (very) limited. I make an effort to to on;y suggest things to do and not suggest things to try.
For the "Read this first" message I just pulled together ideas from some volunteers that did have experience into what I thought would a consistent easy to follow message. I think there are bits and pieces from each of the few that have demonstrated they can get WU to behave.
...and when I read in any topic the reply that begins with the list of questions like "When did you purchase the computer..." that signals the end for me and I generally bail out because sooner or later (days/weeks) and after scores of other questions, the result of that intervention is usually reinstall.