It looks like I finally got it working (so far...)
The problem was with the ATI driver - dated 9/2013 caused a crash (atiumdag.dll) when exiting or choosing certain menu items. I am currently running the Microsoft AMD driver dated 12/6/2103(driver version 13.251.0.0) and all seems well.
The old uiautomationcore.dll file fix in the FSX root directory is still required to prevent crashes from using menus.
I am also using Vista compatibility.
I have read some people using the atiumdag.dll from build 13.4 or 13.5 and placing it in the FSX root directory.
This morning with the old driver from 9/2013 the game crashed on exit. Uninstalled the driver and let Windows install the one from Windows Update. The game exits just fine now, no crashes using DX9!
Other games also run a lot smoother, including Oblivion and Skyrim...