Jacob,
About a year ago I had a similar discussion with a guy who tried to analyze and examine everything like you do. The page with that thread took something like 5 minutes to load - that's how much material that guy provided. The discussion was about fonts in Internet Explorer 9 (if my memory serves me well) looking like puke, and about users' inability to turn the font smoothing off.
I can see the problem not only has not been fixed, it only has gotten worse. To me it looks like still the same problem - fonts looking blurry and unreadable.
The way I see it, Microsoft should throw the whole thing out the window and start over. Buy the license for font smoothing algorithms from Apple, if they can't figure it out themselves.
Or provide the ability to turn if off completely, as I've been requesting over and over and over again.
Wes